Gathering feedback for some people can be like walking through no man’s land, and that’s because generally speaking we do it very rarely, we don’t know what to expect, and mostly (dare I say it) we do it badly. However, if you take small steps and provide consistency both when giving and receiving feedback you will find yourself not only with clarity on what you’re doing well and where you can improve, but you will also find these discussions much easier and less stressful.
Let’s examine what Good, Bad and downright Ugly feedback looks like, as well as my 3 ‘killer feedback questions’:
Good Feedback: Is well thought out and concrete in terms of what’s been seen and why the person thought it was noteworthy. Good feedback is also developmental, it’s not just about giving someone a big warm feedback hug by saying only flattering things. It’s balanced, non-emotional and meaningful. High quality feedback gives a clear view of what good looks like, so the other person knows what they’re shooting for. The very best feedback is in the moment, not ‘saved up’ for an annual performance review or 360 and is a 2-way dialogue where both parties mutually support the other person’s development. It’s all about positive intent, and transparency of messaging.
Bad Feedback: You’ve guessed it, it’s the opposite of the above. For me, the worst feedback is what I call ‘beige feedback’ which is usually the result of when someone has been put on the spot with the ‘have you got any feedback for me?’ question. It’s useless in other words. To gather useful feedback, the other person needs time to think properly about it. If you/they are new to giving feedback as described above, set expectations around how you would like to receive feedback and don’t ambush them. Perhaps start slowly by discussing feedback in your regular 121s. As you build the habit this will become easier and you will find yourselves needing to be less structured.
Ugly Feedback: For me, this is feedback that’s given in the moment, but is usually the result of someone having an emotional response to a situation. If you find yourself wanting to give someone feedback because they have affronted you in some way, my message is this: DON’T! In these situations, I encourage my clients to write down what they feel so the emotion is captured, and then sleep on it. Then, if you do need to give some feedback the following day, you’ve removed the feelings and can focus on the facts. It is important not to ignore these situations though, as more than likely they will happen again if the other person doesn’t know how it’s impacted you.
Killer Feedback Questions: Whether you’re a leader or not, if you’re new to gathering feedback, I recommend you keep things simple by consistently using the questions below. If others come to expect you to ask these questions, they will prepare well before your conversations and the result will be useful for both parties. These questions work well with a broad range of stakeholders, whether that be your Line Manager, CEO, Customer or Peer.
- What would you like to see more of?
- What would you like to see less of?
- What can I do to add even more value to you?
Summary: Gathering feedback isn’t hard but gathering good feedback can take a little more thought and practice. Get into the groove by asking a broad range of people around you for feedback using the 3 above questions, and you will be surprised with how much useful information you receive. Finally, for the Leaders reading this, you can use the 3 questions to gather feedback from your stakeholders for the whole of your team which will provide you with an understanding of how you’re collectively perceived across your organisation.
Good luck and happy feedback gathering!
If you need any support with your own career, or you’re a Leader who wants to get even better at supporting your people, reach out! [email protected]